Last week when I asked Mummy to pray for a successful prayer and fast for me that I was about to embark on, she asked me,"Why are you fasting?"...and..."is it a church thing?" As in, am I doing it on my own volition or is the church leading it? I answered, "Yes, it's a church thing but it was something I had wanted to do anyways, and doing in conjunction with church will assist me in supporting my fast and help me in building my faith." She asked what my goals were and I told her. I'm not willing to share them here as they are quite private but my goals are quite focused and I know that I will have success.
I have so much to say in this post... I will try my best to express myself.
This weekend I made a big feast on Sunday for my girlfriends so that I would have some food to eat when it was time to break my fast throughout the beginning of the week. This weekend, I was not doing so well because a lot of my world and the world around me is in limbo. Literally, everything is in limbo and it had me unsettled. I was anxious and unsettled for the first time in a LONG time. My love life is in limbo, my School/Work is in limbo, Nigeria is in limbo, everything around me is in limbo. But on Monday, once I began my fast, even though everything is still in limbo, I was calm and still today, I am calm. Why? Because I have faith. God is with me. I know that with God all things are possible. So I am chillaxin. I know that my love life will sort itself out. I know that we will find the right people to hire in the school. I know that we will figure out what to do with school fee's and everything else once we see what happens in Nigeria. I know that there will be resolution in Nigeria with this fuel subsidy removal. Why? Because God is with me. God has NOT failed me yet, so why would I think he'd begin to now? Because he WON'T!
I must admit, just like the holidays, this fast has not been easy. Why? Both the holidays and the fast are for the same reason. Loneliness. I miss the kids and miss being busy with work. For those of you who know me personally, you all know I LOVE LOVE food! I mean, they say that men think about sex like every 4 seconds or something. Well, as sad as it is to admit, that's me and food. I think about food constantly. And it's even worse when I am all alone all day long with just me and my thoughts! But I've made it two days... I know I will make it the remaining ones...
Even with all the wahala in Nigeria, I know all will work out in due time. In my humble opinion, the fuel subsidy removal, in theory, is a great idea, in a perfect democratic society. But as we all know, there's no such thing as a perfect democratic society. I mean, the fuel subsidy removal wouldn't even work out well in the United States where we have a social welfare system and public transportation system in place. Why? Because even in the US we have subsidies on almost everything to make the economy work for the people... It's true. I just pray that everything works out well in the end and that corruption decreases. I'm not sure the fuel subsidy is the step in that direction. I have a lot to say on this topic but it tends to raise my blood pressure. As I've mentioned on this blog in the past (years ago now) I no longer enjoy talking politics. It does NOT bring joy to my world and therefore is not important.
I do have this to say... Abuja is quiet. My life is quiet. And I'm catching up on my rest. I'm safe. I'm enjoying my fast and my time at church every night. I find myself longing and looking forward to the message I will receive each night. Family Worship Centre is blessing me with the word of God and I am thankful.
I begin Yoga classes next week. I'm doing 2 nights a week because I don't have time for any more, although, Annie, the instructor says 3 is ideal. Already by doing 2 might cause me to miss Friday night prayer meetings. However, I really do need to be doing more exercise and I give most of the other nights of the week to Church and God. So... I am doing Tuesdays and Fridays for some exercise...
This week is a week of reflection and I've learned so much in such a short period of time. I've learned to have high expectations, to have faith that everything will be well, and to be hopeful, and I've learned to continue to be prayerful and always ask God to grant me grace in all I do. I've also learned that I really have learned to surround myself with good people and through that God has given me so much goodness.
I am so blessed.