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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Jealousy

'There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy' –Lope de Vega 

So one thing I have learned in my lifetime is that relationships are hard.  And I am not just talking about romantic ones, friendships can be very hard too.  Now one of the issues I have had many problems with in my relationship is with jealousy.  I despise, loathe and downright hate jealousy, yet it catches me every now and again and stings and burns like crazy!  However, these days, we seem to both have it under control on both ends.  Something that isn't easy to do but is a must, especially in long distance relationships.  

However, the current issue of jealousy in my life is not with my man, it's with my girl friend.  She has caught the jealousy bug and it has made her behave in ways that I have never seen her act like before.  I've never really experience jealousy from a friend like this before so I don't really know how to handle it.  And it's a lot more difficult for me to deal with than the jealousy in my love life because when it comes to my love life, I am a jealous and protective woman.  I want my man all to myself.  I will admit it.  I am an extremely jealous woman.  But I haven't the foggiest idea of how to deal with it with my girl friend because I have never personally been jealous of my friend's being friends with someone else.  If a friend was becoming close with another friend I would generally just let it be.  If the friendship was strong enough, I knew that we'd always be friends and the newness of the other friend would eventually wear off or maybe it wouldn't but c'est la vie.  

So now I am left with the quandary.  Am I the bigger person and discuss the jealousy with her?  Or do I say, no, I will not tolerate this childish behaviour and start a fight?  In the meantime, I've been giving silent treatment.  (by the way, not an easy thing for me to do!).  So in the meantime, I wait it out.  However, I am especially surprised at her lack of awareness of her behaviour and her jealousy.  

I do believe that feeling jealousy is in itself showing affection and love for that person but what you do with that jealousy is how you show that person that 'hey, I love you and I just don't want to lose you.'  I don't think have jealous feelings means you don't really love the person, or that you are weak and scared.  Nothing is set in stone.  Most things are not forever.  No one wants to be left behind or broken up with.  Jealousy to me is natural but to me it's the worse of the seven deadly sins because I feel like it's the one we have the least amount of control over.  It takes us over with a wild passion and in most cases all reason and logic is abandon and we turn into crazy people.  

What are your thoughts on jealousy? 

'There is never jealousy where there is not strong regard.' –Washington Irving



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