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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

thoughts


So I've been meaning to put up some pics of some things around Yola, but that might have to wait a bit.  One place I wanted to post pictures of was the club, but they just drained the pool for repairs and that ruins the ambience.  Boo.

Lately, Roro and I have been talking a lot about our 'thoughts.'  We have this way of perusing into the others head by saying "what are you thinking about?"  If you spend anytime with us, there's a big chance you will hear this phrase come out of one of our mouths.  So today I've been thinking about 'thoughts.'  What are they really?  Are they all really worth discussing?  I mean we have so many each day, I know I have thousands, literally.  So are they all worthy of sharing?  I used to think so, but in recent years I've slowed my roll in sharing them, for many reasons.  Sometimes I had no one to share them with.  Other times I had no one around that was interested or would be annoyed if I spoke.  Or sometimes they were crazy or worthless, or so I thought.  However, I have finally met someone who thinks they are all worthy of discussing.  This is so amazing.  I finally have someone who appreciates me and wants to know what I think.  Omg.  I think I'm in love.  Oh, wait, I am!  Lol.  Do you have someone to share your thoughts with on a regular basis?

When I was a child, I spoke very little.  I'm not very sure of why this is, I cannot reach back into that part of the memory box and figure it out.  But I think it has something to do with the fact that I was the only child around and had no one my age to talk too, so I had this inner world that I shared with no one.  I had 'invisible' friends galore, seriously.  I created all sorts of invisible worlds with all sorts of 'friends.'  So in Kindergarten when I wasn't so used to being around kids and especially ones' I didn't know I didn't adjust so well.  So they put me in speech therapy classes.  I had the same therapist from Kindergarten through 2nd grade.  I am not sure if that's when I stopped seeing her or not, but that's my last memory.  It makes sense that I saw her all those years because my town was small, far from the cities at that time, and I'm pretty sure my school district probably only employed one at that time.  Anyway, I hated her.  She made me feel stupid and like I was from a really low class.  I am not sure how a child of my age gets these notions but seriously, it's how I felt.  She made me feel like I came from a poor family.  Of course, this was the truth, but at that age, do we really know what poor is?  I mean, I never knew until I was much older that powdered milk was not normal and was unusual unless you were poor.  I mean, I still crave the government cheese we got each month.  Anyway, I don't think I had any real need to see this woman, I was just shy.  Plain and simple.  But later on I began to talk and I'm still talking.  My mom always blamed her (the therapist) for turning me into a jabberbox.

Anyway, so if Roro is okay with me telling him all my thoughts and concerns and it turns me into even more of a jabberbox than I already am, so be it.  I will just tell him, I told you so!  :)

For the past month, we've had a pretty good schedule and way about ourselves.  I love it.  I love having a schedule, a time to do things, it really gives me something to look forward too.  I love having someone to share my day with, and more importantly my life with.  Someone who looks forward to spending the day with you.  It's a wonderful feeling.  Being in love is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but finding someone who is compatible to your lifestyle, that is so much better.  I have a partner and a friend who gets me and gets how I want to be.

Soon, I will be posting about my top favorite songs of all time, but for now I'm going to tell you how much I'm loving Adele's old cd.  I know it's not 'new' but it's been inspiring me most of the summer.  I love 'Right as Rain' and 'My Same.'  We've watched Seasons 1-4 of the Office recently.  As well as Seasons 1 and 6 of Curb your Enthusiasm.  We've moved onto Weeds until we can get more of the Office or of Curb.  Telly on the laptop time has increased lately because of the pool drainage.  :(  I am happy they drained the pool for repairs because that means safer water polo games, but it means no swimming.  I'm trying to get rid of this belly I seem to be developing and this means I'm gonna have to gym it instead which is not nearly as easy in the Yola heat as the pool.  Boohoo!

Cheers.

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