Wednesday, July 28, 2010


So I've been meaning to put up some pics of some things around Yola, but that might have to wait a bit.  One place I wanted to post pictures of was the club, but they just drained the pool for repairs and that ruins the ambience.  Boo.

Lately, Roro and I have been talking a lot about our 'thoughts.'  We have this way of perusing into the others head by saying "what are you thinking about?"  If you spend anytime with us, there's a big chance you will hear this phrase come out of one of our mouths.  So today I've been thinking about 'thoughts.'  What are they really?  Are they all really worth discussing?  I mean we have so many each day, I know I have thousands, literally.  So are they all worthy of sharing?  I used to think so, but in recent years I've slowed my roll in sharing them, for many reasons.  Sometimes I had no one to share them with.  Other times I had no one around that was interested or would be annoyed if I spoke.  Or sometimes they were crazy or worthless, or so I thought.  However, I have finally met someone who thinks they are all worthy of discussing.  This is so amazing.  I finally have someone who appreciates me and wants to know what I think.  Omg.  I think I'm in love.  Oh, wait, I am!  Lol.  Do you have someone to share your thoughts with on a regular basis?

When I was a child, I spoke very little.  I'm not very sure of why this is, I cannot reach back into that part of the memory box and figure it out.  But I think it has something to do with the fact that I was the only child around and had no one my age to talk too, so I had this inner world that I shared with no one.  I had 'invisible' friends galore, seriously.  I created all sorts of invisible worlds with all sorts of 'friends.'  So in Kindergarten when I wasn't so used to being around kids and especially ones' I didn't know I didn't adjust so well.  So they put me in speech therapy classes.  I had the same therapist from Kindergarten through 2nd grade.  I am not sure if that's when I stopped seeing her or not, but that's my last memory.  It makes sense that I saw her all those years because my town was small, far from the cities at that time, and I'm pretty sure my school district probably only employed one at that time.  Anyway, I hated her.  She made me feel stupid and like I was from a really low class.  I am not sure how a child of my age gets these notions but seriously, it's how I felt.  She made me feel like I came from a poor family.  Of course, this was the truth, but at that age, do we really know what poor is?  I mean, I never knew until I was much older that powdered milk was not normal and was unusual unless you were poor.  I mean, I still crave the government cheese we got each month.  Anyway, I don't think I had any real need to see this woman, I was just shy.  Plain and simple.  But later on I began to talk and I'm still talking.  My mom always blamed her (the therapist) for turning me into a jabberbox.

Anyway, so if Roro is okay with me telling him all my thoughts and concerns and it turns me into even more of a jabberbox than I already am, so be it.  I will just tell him, I told you so!  :)

For the past month, we've had a pretty good schedule and way about ourselves.  I love it.  I love having a schedule, a time to do things, it really gives me something to look forward too.  I love having someone to share my day with, and more importantly my life with.  Someone who looks forward to spending the day with you.  It's a wonderful feeling.  Being in love is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but finding someone who is compatible to your lifestyle, that is so much better.  I have a partner and a friend who gets me and gets how I want to be.

Soon, I will be posting about my top favorite songs of all time, but for now I'm going to tell you how much I'm loving Adele's old cd.  I know it's not 'new' but it's been inspiring me most of the summer.  I love 'Right as Rain' and 'My Same.'  We've watched Seasons 1-4 of the Office recently.  As well as Seasons 1 and 6 of Curb your Enthusiasm.  We've moved onto Weeds until we can get more of the Office or of Curb.  Telly on the laptop time has increased lately because of the pool drainage.  :(  I am happy they drained the pool for repairs because that means safer water polo games, but it means no swimming.  I'm trying to get rid of this belly I seem to be developing and this means I'm gonna have to gym it instead which is not nearly as easy in the Yola heat as the pool.  Boohoo!


Monday, July 26, 2010


So I bought this game almost a year ago in Cambridge, Mass after reading about it on the plane to the states in the International Herald Tribune.  I loved the story of how the family developed and created it and made their fortune.  However, I had never played it until this last Friday night at the club.  I had been wanting to learn to play for ages.  I dragged and lugged this game around with me for most of fall and a large part of Spring, but we never played.  Finally, we broke it out and taught ourselves how to play.  Since Friday we've played every single day and have had a ball doing so, even if it has been a 'quiet' ball.  Lol, finally a game that shuts up Kate.  Miraculous!  

Here are some pics with me, Tj and Jas playing:

Here's Tj



Have you ever played Bananagrams?  What's your favorite game to play with friends?  

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Grace and Gratitude

Today is Sunday.  Sunday is the best day to give thanks and gratitude.  Today I am grateful for the wonderful man that god has placed into my life.  Roro, I love you with all my heart and I know I am so lucky and blessed to have you in my world.

You have taught me how to love, to give one's heart fully.  You have been slowly teaching me the art of grace.  But most especially you have taught me how to be grateful through the many ways you show it to me.

I am grateful for your love, kindness and patience.  I am grateful for the way you encourage and inspire me. I am grateful for the way you take care of me and all the wonderful things you do for me each and everyday.  You never fail to amaze me and keep me still in awe and wonder.  Each day you show me so many blessings.

Thank you for everything you did yesterday especially, and everyday.  I love you.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Cursing Update!!!

So I've begun to curse less.  Everytime I swear now, I must swim 25 meters in the pool.  This is no easy thing for Kate.  So it's begun to curb my enthusiasm for the love of swear words.  This has been difficult for me especially in the car, as most of you know Naija's drivers are insane.  So I've racked up most of my meters that way!  :(  Yesterday, I swam four Kate laps or 200 meters.  I am doing whatever I can to keep it at a small length because I am not the best swimmer.  I am sore this morning from the damage I did yesterday.  Boo...

Friday, July 23, 2010


I love storms.  But I hate what they do to the already bad roads here in Yola.  Last night we had a serious rain storm with lots of thunder and possibly lightning, but I didn't get up to look.  I was woken up by the thunder which reminded me of bowling and getting a strike.  I never get frightened in a storm but last night I was a little shaken up when I was woken up by such big bangs.  But this morning when I was reflecting on this, I remembered that come mid-October, we won't have these magnificent beasts till next May, so I must relish and delight in them as much as I possibly can.  I love sitting and watching lightning, especially the ones in the distance, I found it romantic.

Do you enjoy storms?  Do you miss them when the season is gone?

****Update, rained again last night.  I was wondering where all the rain went.  Last summer it rained a lot more.   It rained so much last night that the ground at the club was still Saturated at 5pm last night.  Not good for Mario's plants and gardens.


Each and every week, no matter where I live, I long for and look forward to Friday.  Why you might ask?  I have absolutely no idea.  I don't celebrate Shabbat or Shabbas or anything.  But I still love Fridays.

These are some of the things I do on Friday night's in Yola:
1.  eat Pizza
2.  swim
3.  play water polo
4.  work out
5.  listen to music
6.  drink wine
7.  drink Bailey's
8.  drink Johnnie walker and cokes
9.  chill with Friends at the club
10.  hang out with my man

I'm thinking of doing something to make Friday's more special.  Not sure yet what, but I am pondering.  Got any ideas for me???  How do you spend your Friday's in Nigeria?  How do you unwind?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


This was found in the tire of my car yesterday morning.  I am pretty sure it's a bullet.  We picked it up in the club parking lot.  It's strange to find in a country where guns are illegal.  We thought the tire had gone flat, but nope, just a bullet in my tire.

This is a picture of Beowulf and me in the car when we went on a little midnight expedition the other night.  He hasn't appeared on the blog lately.  So here's the B-man people!  :)

Monday, July 19, 2010

Curse like a Sailor

So I am giving up cursing/swearing.  I have no reason for this, except, I think it will make a certain special someone happy.  It is a problem.  I currently curse like a sailor.  I'm gonna work on this though.  I used to think it made me who I am, blunt and real, but I am still blunt and real without cursing.  So, I've slowly been working on this, but now I am making it real, I am going to stop cursing and swearing.  Let's see how I do.  :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010


So today is Sunday.  This one is a lil different than my normal one has been lately.  I decided to get up at the time folks do in these parts when they go to church.  I got up at 7am, got dressed to work out, and headed to the club.  I was all set to workout when I went to the gym to start the AC's in advance and I found the gym door locked.  So I went and told Eric the waiter to see if he could hunt down the key.  So I sat down, plugged in the mac and surfed.  I did my usual twitter/facebook thang and someone decided to try and chat with me on facebook.  Usually I just click close because well, I usually don't know the person and so what's the point.  But today I decided to see if I was closing out potential friends or something.  But I proved my point once again.  It was just some dude trying to get into my pants.  Ugh.  So it made me get on my own pulpit in my brain and preach to the choir about how there are two types of people in the world.  The good and the bad.  I know what each one wants, and I know which type you are when I meet you, even if that's on facebook.  Rasaq from this morning was the bad.  I knew it from the moment, but I tried not too judge a book by it's cover.  But...

I decided to order breakfast.  I ordered scrambled eggs with toast and french press coffee.  I got my food within three minutes.  I was so shocked.  The key was found by this point.  But I ate and enjoyed my food and coffee.  My food order wasn't slightly correct though, but I think my guardian gluten-free Angel was watching over me and the toast never came!  lol.  But I knew it was for the best so I said nothing.   I proceeded to head to the gym to work out and did my exercises, stretches, elliptical and the bike while listening to "This American Life." It was a beautiful time.  There was a magnificent cross breeze flowing through the gym (in Nigeria this never happens), I was looking at the sunshine filled club out into the pool (to which I would enter later on) looking at the beautiful bougainvillea blooms and the butterflies floating in the air.  

After my workout, my special someone joined me for a swim.  The water was a lil cold, but c'est la vie.  Afterwards we chilled and played around with Ayo (the iPad) for a bit under the hut.  Then we cleaned up, went inside to join Jas for a bit.  We chatted about tellyvision, films, and American celeb gossip, you know Wesley Snipes, this new film "Inception" and Justin Bieber and the likes.  You see, when you are living in the middle of nowhere Africa, you have to try to keep up with pop culture.  You are not inundated and smothered by it here, even if you are on fb and twitter, which the three of us are.  We are techno freaks.  I mean, we mosdef had three thousand dollars worth of gadgets on the table with us.  This is just what we carry around with us for Sunday Brunch, lol.  I mean we had iPhones, iPads, mac laptops, blackberries, nokia phones, iPods, you get my drift.  But even with all that, none of us knew what "Inception" was about.  It's quite interesting how little advertising we are exposed to here in Yola and actually Nigeria in general.  Everything is so Naijacentric and mostly ads for the government, lamido or most especially mobile phones.  Glo, Zain, and Mtn are everywhere!!!  We most definitely are never exposed to film advertisements, not even Nigeria Nollywood types.   

Jas drew Roro a Christmas tree winter scene on Ayo.  Yep, we do Christmas in July in Yola.  Which kinda makes sense because this is our version of winter here and it's cool enough that I have the windows open at this moment with only the fan on, NO AC!!!  This of course led to mall talk because in the Mall of America in Minnesota there's a store called, 'Christmas in July.'  We don't have such malls or stores to speak of in Yola, let alone in Nigeria, I don't think.  It's been a month since I've been in Paris and I must say I miss Paris, so much I really long for Abuja these days.  Omg!  Yes, you read that right.  

So tonight has been pretty nice too.  Beowulf was lucky and got to swimming.  I felt he needed a good workout like his mama.  I observed ironing while having a nice chat with Roro.  Which followed dinner and some season two of "The Office" thanks to Jas.  

This is a bit of a break of my normal Sunday routine.  But I kinda rather enjoyed today a lot.  There was lots of water involved.  A shower, a swim, and a bath!  However, I have been missing ice cream a lot.  Omg!  What I wouldn't give for a stroll down a real grocery story ice cream aisle right now.  Seriously.  Omg.  What's your favorite ice cream?  I have two.  Haagen Dazs: Rocky Road and Turtle Mountain coconut milk ice cream with cookie dough.  I wish Santa was real and could put that in my freezer for me for breakfast tomorrow.  

All in all, a great Sunday was had by me.  Today I also want to recognize all the good people in the world and may god grant you happiness and a sundae made with your favorite ingredients!  :)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

A mistake was made

I made a huge mistake last night.  I am dearly sorry for it.  I will never make that one again, ever.  When you hurt someone you love dearly, how do you make up for it?  What are some things you do?  Saying sorry is the easy part, showing someone you are sorry is the hard part.  I think the easy part for me will be in changing the behaviour.  However, I have most definitely learn from this mistake and will be forever sorry.

I also need to learn that in some battles of life, I need to "shut the hell up!"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Heart's Desires

Earlier today, I was asked what my heart's desire is.  I thought about it an answered.  So I ask you.  What's your heart's desire(s)?  Do you have an answer off the top of your head or do you need to think about it for a moment?  Do you have all that your heart desires?


So most of you know I've been doing some writing.  I'm working on a book.  It's about Love.  Yes, the big L-word.  And no, I'm not talking about the tv show either.  L-O-V-E.

So I'm writing my story about love, but I am talking about different issues in it as well.  So after reading something on Gluten Free Girl's blog I got to thinking about engagements.  She and the chef got engaged after just four months.  They've been giddily happily married ever since.  The reason I mention this is because I used to read her blog daily.  But then I stopped.  I stopped because of two reasons.  One, her baking skills got better than mine and she was just too damn happy all that time.  I was like, c'mon, do they ever fight, or are they always this deliriously in love and happy.  It made me sick.  Why?  Probably because I didn't have that love, or that kind-of love.  I was envious.  Have you ever thought about how love twists it's way into almost all seven of the deadly sins?  I have.  Twisted stuff, love is.  I've been doing lots of reflecting and thinking and it seems most of the happy couples I know, knew this early, they were often what some would seem as not-so-perfect fits, age gaps, from very different walks of life, very different personalities, but these short term engagements always seem to be the ones that last the longest and they often seem to show so much love when I'm in their presence.  That's the kind of love I want.  I've also noticed that height plays a factor.  I've noticed in most couples where the man is much taller, they usually seem happier as well.  I know of many couples like this.  I always wondered if there was something to this.  Nowadays, I wonder more if it might be true...  ;)

So what makes someone decide, now is that time, let's get engaged, take that next step?  When does one know they want to spend the rest of their life with someone?  And when you decide that, when is the right time to take the plunge?

So I want to know your thoughts.  How long should one date before they get 'engaged?'  How long do have the engagement period for?  What's your story?  How long did you wait before you got engaged?  I'm curious because I have this theory about happiness and am curious to see if it's true or not.  So please comment.  Tell me your thoughts on this subject.  I might be e-mailing some of you privately on this issue.  So this is your heads up...

Please comment!!!  :)

Fortune Cookies

I was talking about fortune cookies the other day.  I mentioned how I miss them even though I cannot eat them.  I ate tons of Chinese in Paris but they didn't give out any fortune cookies (yes, I am aware they are highly American).  Anyway, Steven posted this on Facebook and I laughed and thought to share with you.  

I have had many blank fortunes in my life.  Seriously.  At least three that I can think of.  I was hurt.  But damn!!!!  If I received this, I think I would die.  lmao!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


We all love to watch them...  Films that is.  I know I've watched more than my fair share in my lifetime.  Some I've watched more than I care to even admit!  lol.  Anyway, I'm going to be adding some over time but for now these are my favorite films.  They are split into two categories:  favorites and Christmas themed favorites.  I love anything Christmas and am not afraid to admit this.  This list is thanks to a special someone whom I've been choosing share my faves with...   They are in no particular order by the way.  

Favorite films:
Top gun
A Few Good Men

The Namesake
The Constant Gardener
A Time to Kill
Love Jones
Bad Boys
Notting Hill

Bridget Jones' Diary
Grumpy Old Men 

Grumpier Old Men
Inglourious Basterds

The Man in the Moon
Dirty Pretty Things
Jump Tomorrow

Christmas themed:
All I Want for Christmas
Home Alone
This Christmas
Love Actually

What are some of your favorite films?  Please comment below...  :)

Rebel Yellow

I just re-listened to the song "Rebel Yellow" by Cecil Otter after many months.  I love this song so much.  It reminds me of myself, not the words, but the beat is often in my head as I strut my stuff around the AUN campus and call out "here I come!"  Plus, my fave color is yellow and I'm mosdef a rebel.  

I never did any research about him, but it turns out he's an Minneapolitan!  

I got the song for free on the Minnesota Public Radio's The Current's Song of the Day Podcast.  I get most of my new music this way here in Nigeria.  So you can get it here too.  

I highly recommend him.  Just want to spread the music and Minneapolis love!

Malaria, Malaise, and Migraine's

So I'm busy dealing with all the things life is throwing at me.  Things like malaria with a little side of malaise and then followed by a severe migraine.  I'm recovering from it all now.  But man, I wish I could get a break.  I'm on the job prowl so if you know anything in Nigeria please give me a holler!  

I woke up on Friday and had a bad taste in my mouth.  By 11am my head was killing me, I was freezing while resting by the pool under the hot Adamawan sun, every scent and sound only made the pain worse, all I wanted was my bed, but the car was acting up and I was stuck at the club.  Finally by 1pm I was home and in bed and under the great care of my beloved.  I hate malaria.  I am going to start taking anti-malaria meds I think.  I think it's time I suck it up and risk some kidney problems in lieu of malaria every few months.  Seriously, I think it's worth it.  

I've been thinking about life and my plans a lot lately.  Thinking about my dreams, how I want to live my life, how I want each day to be spent, each holiday to be enjoyed, etc.  I am going to try and live more purposefully.  I have already been getting up each day (most days) on a schedule, I even manage to make breakfast most days before I leave the house, so I believe I am improving.  I do feel like I need to be writing more on this blog and to others.  That helps me do some more self-reflection than I've been doing.  I have been doing lots of writing, but I am worried still that most of it's crap, but I feel like it's getting better.  

Yesterday, I had a bad day.  I felt really down.  I applied for two jobs and I really hope I get one of them and I am worried that my bad mood might have shown through my cover letter, but I tried so hard not too.  I am beginning to feel the need for a job to wake up too.  I never thought I'd be saying that, but I guess somewhere deep down inside I am longing for it.  

I am also longing and dreaming of California. The sunshine.  My sister.  A few friends.  The ocean.  The food.  The shopping.  I long for it all.  I long for a cup of coffee at the Coffee House or the Coffee Bean. I dream of sitting and watching a movie in the theatre.  California dreaming has been a common occurrence.  It is my intention of spending my Christmas holiday there.  I already have a list of foods I intend on making for my big sis.  lol.   But I have noticed that in the past six months, I have been longing for the moments I am away from Yola much less than before.  :)  This makes me think about Yola and Nigeria in a different way.  

***Side Note:  I know I have some readers out there.  I know I do.  So please, post a comment.  Tell me your thoughts.  Tell me something about yourself.  Tell me what you enjoy and what you don't.  Please, I am writing for all of you afterall...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Forever Love

Do you believe in forever love?  I do.  I actually think I have it.  I know I am blessed.

I just read this short story in "One Big Happy Family" by Meredith Maran called, "Till Life Do Us Part" and in my opinion it's a story about forever love.  She too is blessed.

Do you have a forever love?  What's your story?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Numbers: July Edition

I used to have this monthly feature on my old blog.  I am bringing it to this one.  Every month I list the books, I read, cd's bought, books bought, film's watched, tv series seasons completed, etc...   I will continue adding to this as the month goes on...

Books read:
One Big Happy Family edited by Rebecca Walker

Films watched:
Hotel for Dogs (first time)
Something New
From Paris with Love (first time)
The Women
Love Jones
Alice in Wonderland (first time)
Perfume (first time)
Rachel Getting Married
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (first time)
Dirty Dancing
Amelia (first time)
He's just not that into you
Imagine That (first time)
Case 39 (first time)
Double Identity (first time)
Coming to America
Edge of Love (first time)
Two Lovers (first time)
Dirty Dancing:  Havana Nights

Television Series Seasons Completed:
Curb Your Enthusiasm (Season One)
The Office- American Version (Season One, Two, Three and Four)
Weeds (Season One)


Sometimes in life, things don't flow as easily as they should.  And others they do.  So as my header implies, things have been a bit blocked up lately.  I've been writing a lot lately, but most of it feels like crap.  I've been eating all that I should, all the good things in life, and again, it's been stuck, inside of me.  :(  So I've been slowly letting all the crap outta me.  I've been writing, even though it might very well be crap, and I've been eating, even though it very much will turn in to crap.  The only thing I can hope for is that it won't continue to 'blocking' me. 

So today, the pipes have been flowing much better and Kate has had a bigger smile on her face, even though she's had some 'accidents.' 

Here's wishing you all a wonderful day and constipation free!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Taking Control

My goal for the next few months is simple, to take control of my life.  I like surprises and spontaneity in my 'fun.'  But in other parts of my life, not so much.  So I am going to begin to take control.  Do whatever I can to end this constant flow of 'surprises.'

I have a plan for this.  I will succeed.  I will be dedicated.

Paris: Day Four

My fourth day in Paris was a Sunday.  I woke up a wee late, but still managed to get up and get outta the hotel and make it to Notre Dame for Sunday Mass.  Yeah, it was pretty funny because I don't really speak French and had no clue when to sit, stand, or say "amen."  But the church is gloriously beautiful.  I did not take pictures inside because it was during mass and it just seemed a lil wrong to me.

Later on in the day, I wandered throughout the Metro to the Arc du Triomphe and snapped some photos.  My description of Paris is slightly boring and banal, I know.  However, I am really terrible at French, I didn't brush up at all before I left, because I felt like that might be jinxing myself, because we all know, I have access to French speakers around me.  Anyway, I went alone, I had no one to talk too.  So this was the most alone I've ever been on any trip.

Honestly, I have been dreaming of Paris for a long time.  In fall, I read not one, but two auto/biographies on Julia Child and was longing to spend Christmas in Paris.  But in the end, I didn't get to go.  C'est la vie.  Seriously, I rarely get what I want in life, but I'm learning how to get it nowadays.  Anyway, but my dreams and visions I had of my version of Julia's life in France cannot be spent alone.  :(   Another day, another dream, another time I will go with the man I love and wander the streets of Paris, hand-in-hand, go to a romantic low-lit bistro and sip delicious wine, or travel by train from end of France to the other just to buy an iPad.  These are my dreams.  May they come true soon.  :)